8 Top Tips On How To Live

The Perfect Baby Boomer Life!

When I was growing up in the sixties, age 60 often meant being a senior with gray-hair. It certainly didn’t include a description of a sexy, dynamic person. As I approached my 60th birthday, I revisited my early beliefs. I couldn’t identify with that visual picture from my youth. So, where did that leave me?

I also grew up in an era where baby-boomer feminists challenged equality between the sexes and I supported some of the concepts like equality in the workplace. Unisex became a new word, and, instead of women showing off their femininity, they were encouraged to downplay it or hide it. No longer was it cool for men to be macho either, let alone thinking about whistling at a woman in public anymore.

But I refused to abandon my sexiness completely and held on to it in small ways, hoping I would enjoy it again fully one day.

When I began my research into life after 60 I found that there was little written about the subject and any media promotion usually referred to male EDD. Choosing to dress, feel, look, and act younger and sexier than “my age” weren’t hot topics. A message for seniors seemed to be “slip gracefully and quietly into seniority.” Anything considered sexy in the senior population should only occur behind closed doors.

It was accepted that men could retain their sexiness with greying hair at the temples and laugh lines around the eyes. Clint Eastwood, Sean Connery, and Paul Newman had no trouble being considered handsome well after 60. Then there were the women like Sophia Loren, Meryl Streep, and Goldie Hawn. Age didn’t affect them so why should it affect me?

In many ways I feel younger now than when I was in my 20s but the truth is I’m not. I have great laugh-lines. I’ve gathered much knowledge over the years. I’m a grandparent.

One thing I’ve discovered is no matter what my age, I can be as sexy as I choose to be. My positive attitude keeps me thinking that way! But I’ve also had to do the work to get there. The following chapters are the steps I’ve taken to reach my goals.

Chapter 1
Have you reached a point in your life where you want to feel healthier, happier, and sexier, but just don’t know where to begin? Do you wish that you knew how to build a new you? I have felt the same way myself more than once and finally learned what to do about it. I want to share the steps that I’ve taken because they really worked for me and I know they could work for you whether you are 40 or 80!

It is up to you whether you want to make changes for yourself. Only you can do it. There is no great diet and weight loss program attached or any miracle potion available. I am going to share 6 steps with you that will help you realize your goals. If you follow the steps, you can be like me and can achieve any goal you set your mind to but it is up to you.

Even though I am currently 60 years old I am not too old to follow this health and wellness regime. I have allowed myself to get out of shape – again! I have done this before and it only takes me a couple of months to get back on track when I set my mind to it. I now have a regular plan I follow when I “fall off the wagon.”

Where do you begin? The first thing to do is write your own story. Determine where you are currently with your own health and wellness. I am sharing my story in the next few paragraphs to help you with your own process.

I woke up this morning, my 3rd day into suffering from a flu bug, and realized it was time to work on my health and wellness plan again. If I follow my doctor’s chart, I am 15 pounds over what I should weigh at age 60 for my height and bone structure. I’m also carrying at least 10 inches of extra fat, which I have no problem pinching.

I carry most of my extra weight around my middle and on my thighs. Sound familiar? The last time I decided to go on my wellness kick was because my knees were beginning to ache every time I went up or down stairs. That was 3 years ago. After dropping 20 pounds, (I was 25 pounds overweight at that time) I had no more trouble with the knee joints. I also started walking a lot too, which strengthened the muscles around my knees.

I had an opportunity to live and work in Mexico for a year. I walked everywhere. I managed to keep the weight and inches off until I returned from my travels a year and a half ago. When I got back to Canada, I did a lot of walking at first. Winter came, and along with it, the cold weather and snow. Before long, I was taking the bus. Then I moved a few miles out of town and needed a car. That’s when my walking ended except for the occasional stroll through the park. I have once again become sluggish and have gained 15 pounds back. It’s been a work in progress. So, in 1½ years I’m within 10 pounds of having trouble with my knees again!

When I look at my health and wellness, I don’t just think about my weight, but also how I am feeling mentally and emotionally. As I get heavier, my emotional health goes down hill. I don’t have the energy to get out and do things. I begin to grow out of my clothes (or they start shrinking!) and I don’t have the ambition to socialize, or so it seems. My eating habits start to change and I begin to turn toward old comfort snacks like jelly-beans and chocolate and popcorn with butter.

I have no magic formula to change things but I have a plan that keeps working for me and hopefully it will work for you.

Chapter 2
One of the ways to a healthier, happier, sexier you is the weigh-in, measure-in, and exercise and food intake assessment. If you don’t have a scale, don’t worry. The measure-in is a good guideline to follow and will give you an accurate reading of what is happening to your body when you decide to get in shape. You can record your weight when you go for your next doctor’s check-up. I make a chart with the date, and then list the following body parts. This is for men and women. Neck, bust, right upper arm, midriff, waist, belly button, widest part of hips, upper right thigh, middle right thigh, knee, calf, ankle, mid part of foot. I know it seems crazy measuring things like your neck and foot but it is surprising where you carry extra weight!

I also assess my food intake. I don’t like to use words like diet and weight loss. I like to think of it as learning to eat healthier. I am looking at some of the foods I normally eat and how I eat it. I am also doing some decision-making as to whether I should change some of my habits. During the winter I tend to eat a lot of what I like to call comfort foods. Between Thanksgiving and Christmas and Valentine’s Day and Easter I consume a lot of products it seems made with white flour or chocolate or both. How I love chocolate! And I know it loves me too the way it wraps itself around me as extra pounds.

This may be in the form of cookies, gravy, breads, or desserts. Those products, combined with a lack of exercise, tend to add not only pounds but also inches to my body in very little time.

In the winter months I cut down on my intake of fresh fruits and vegetables too. I’m lazy and just don’t want to prepare the fruit or veggies for nibbling.

Then there is exercise! It’s cold and miserable and since I don’t snow ski, what is exciting about being outside where I have to bundle up? I know I have to start making changes though.

I decide to write out a promise to myself. I post in a visible spot where I can see it and read it everyday:

“I Am Healthier, Happier, And Sexier Than I Ever Have Been!”

Remember to visit your family doctor before starting any new diet and exercise program.

Chapter 3
In the past, I’ve been successful with changing a couple of bad eating habits when I’ve decided to go on a health kick. First of all, I get rid of any leftover candy I have lying around. Okay, I can throw it in the garbage or give it away but personally I prefer to eat it! I may not have anymore for awhile so why not enjoy it?

I start going through my kitchen cupboards and getting rid of anything white. That’s right, anything white! This includes flour, salt, sea salt, coffee creamer, rice, pasta, salad dressings, crackers, potatoes, and sugar. The only white product I use when I plan to get healthy is 1% milk. I can’t stand skim milk!

Then take out all canned goods (look at the sodium levels!) and prepared condiments like ketchup, mustard, and soy sauce. If you feel this is a waste of groceries and you don’t want to give it away to the food bank, just hide it away. Otherwise, use it all up before you start your health plan.

Now it’s time to go shopping. First of all, except for getting the following ingredients, I just shop around the perimeter of the grocery store where I can find fresh products including fruits, vegetables, fish, and meat. I find the bulk food section is also a good place to find brown rice and whole-wheat pastas. Because this may be a new way of eating, I suggest buying small amounts to begin with until you find what you really like. Since you’ve tossed the salt, take time to buy a few bulk spices to try out. You need very little of the spices.

On my first shopping trip I will buy a number of vegetables, spinach leaves instead of lettuce, a few pieces of fruit, bulk almonds, and bulk packages of lean meat or chicken or fish. I also buy rye crisp bread, rice crackers, a block of low fat cheese, and 1% milk. To replace my salad dressings, I get olive oil and balsamic vinegar. During the spring I like to be prepared to cook a lot of stir-fries. When I get home I spend time washing and cutting up veggies and bagging them in zip-lock freezer bags, which help keep the veggies crisper. I cut the meat and fish into approximately 4 oz. portions (about the size of a deck of cards) and also bag them and throw them in the freezer. The preparation will take me usually about an hour but I’ve prepared 5 days worth of food by the time I’m finished. If I’m already hungry, I’ve got prepared snacks!

You may already be saying to yourself “I can’t eat like this!” That’s true. Maybe you can’t. But do you or don’t you want to lose weight? I’m not going to tell you what you should or shouldn’t do.

Now that I have all that preparation out of the way, it is time to look at some other habits. I am a coffee drinker and I used to always have cream and sugar in it. I found that the sweetener was the easiest thing for me to give up. I still enjoy the occasional specialty coffee, but not at home. There I just drink black. If I need to sweeten my coffee, I use an artificial sweetener.

Chapter 4
You are trying to lose weight and get your energy level up so you can exercise easily. You’d love to look like Sandra Bullock on your next tropical holiday. It’s simpler than it seems sometimes. I have a routine I follow that’s quite effective.

1.Eat A Good breakfast
Breakfast is a big thing for me. I eat ¾ cup of bulk rolled oats (not the individual packaged kind – they can be loaded with sodium and sugar) and it takes 2 minutes to prepare in the microwave. Just add water. Use artificial sweetener if you must have some sweetness. I also have 1% milk on the porridge.

2.Be Prepared
I also like to cook up a pot of brown rice every few days to have on hand. For lunches and suppers I just vary my veggies and rice and protein.

3.Downsize Portions
The other thing that I change with my habits besides getting rid of the white stuff in my diet, is downsizing the portions. I find the easiest way to do this is downsize the size of my plate. Instead of using a full-sized dinner plate, I switch to a luncheon sized one. Everything I put on the plate is the size of a deck of cards. By the time I have added my pasta or rice and veggies and protein, the plate is full! Salad can be served in a separate small bowl with a tablespoon of olive oil mixed with ½ tablespoon of vinegar.

4.Eat Only When Hungry
The first few days I may still have room in my stomach after I have eaten the first plate of food. Instead of filling my plate again right away, I wait for an hour and then do it. It takes a little while to get into the new habit. This is not about starving myself. This is about learning to enjoy food and fueling my body, as it needs it. I ALWAYS have breakfast but for the first week at least, I eat the rest of my meals on demand. Forget about the noon and 5 o’clock schedule. Feed the body when it needs to be fed, but with healthy food! This may be difficult if you only have certain break times at work but do it if it’s possible.

5.Stay Away From Sweets
The last piece of advice is stay away from the candy counter. Candy makes you hungry for more candy! Instead, have protein snacks available in easy reach. A couple of squares of cheese or a small piece of chicken breast will quickly fill the void and leave you satisfied.

Chapter 5
Exercise is a nasty word! It’s taken me years to get to a point of making it part of my daily life. Hopefully my story will help you understand the importance of exercise, especially as we get older.

The weather outside is miserable so I know I have to begin moving around and exercising inside. Because I’m really not into exercise, the daunting task of starting up a regular exercise program again never excites me. This process though is to stay healthy and happy and I know from experience it works.

I was never involved in a lot of exercise and fitness or sports as a kid except what was mandatory in school. I tried baton twirling at 3 and ballet at 9 and neither one suited me, or should I say I didn’t suit them! The only thing I really enjoyed doing was walking for miles by myself or rowing a boat. As I got older I added dancing to my list, as long as someone led me around the dance floor. My sense of rhythm only worked if I was following someone or if I got to dance to my own drummer.

When I was raising my kids I managed to stay pretty active chasing them. I took up water-skiing for a few years and actually learned to slalom ski. I never thought of it as exercise though. It was just summer fun.

I decided when I was 45 to take up walking again and got into some serious hiking too. I had returned to college so I stopped everyday after classes to walk beside the water just to clear my head. The first time was only for 10 minutes but as the days went by I added a bit more time and before long I was walking at least an hour each day. There was a fairly steep climb to a cliff trail and the daily exertion felt good. Mind you, the weather was great and the temperature nice and warm for a good amount of the day. Before long I dropped 5 pounds, then ten, and eventually 15.

Then I moved to a rural community on the prairies for a couple of years. It was an hour and a half drive to get fresh produce during the fall and winter. I ate a lot of starches and canned food during those 2 winters and it wasn’t long before my body was carrying 25 extra pounds. I finally left the prairies and moved back to the city but it took time to change my eating habits and to get back into a regular lifestyle program.

At the age of 58 I finally decided to try out a gym. I wasn’t impressed at first but kept at it. I made sure I stopped on the way home from work because I knew if I didn’t I wouldn’t go back after I got home. I wasn’t into any of the group classes offered because my life at work was already busy and hectic enough. Getting on an elliptical machine or treadmill and plugging in to watch my favourite program was enough for me. I’d also spend 20 minutes on the circuit machines. A few stretches at the end of an hour and I was out of there!

After a few weeks of going to the gym I found I had a lot more energy. I started eating right again as well. The weather began getting nicer and before long I was getting out for a short walk after supper.

That summer, I had the opportunity to go live in Mexico for a year and teach English, which I jumped at. I lived a 7-minute walk from the beach and 20 minutes from downtown. Needless to say I walked a lot and before long I got rid of the final 10 pounds that had refused to drop off before then.

When I returned from my year away it wasn’t long before I became sedentary once again. The pounds slowly climbed up, until, at 60, I am once again facing the challenge of shedding extra weight and getting back into good physical shape.

Shortly after breakfast, I put on a piece of my favourite music. The only thing I want to accomplish daily in the first week is moving to music I enjoy listening to for at least 10 minutes a day. I don’t care if all I do is move around in a circle or dance like crazy, just so long as I do it. I’ll do the same tomorrow and maybe add an extra 5 minutes to it. If the weather was nice, I’d take my MP-3 and go for a 10 minute walk.

This is all about starting again and doing it for myself.

Chapter 6
It’s important to realize that changing your lifestyle involves a holistic approach. Each change involves a physical, mental, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual shift in thinking and acting. I’m not doing the “new age” thing. I’m just being realistic, which I’ve learned to be much more so later in life.

Since I turned 45 in 1994, I have circumvented North America by driving to Alaska, Newfoundland, Key West, and the Guatemalan border. I quit smoking a pack of cigarettes a day after 30 years. I went back to college for a year, tried ranching and farming for a couple of years, overcame my fear of heights, and traveled to China. Then I learned to sail and crew for racing sailboats, started going to the gym, took up Salsa and Argentinean Tango, taught English as a Second Language, and became a professional writer. I even practiced retirement for a few months just to see what it might be like. I decided I wasn't ready to just lay back and soak up the sun.

A couple of years ago I took a sabbatical from my regular job working with people with developmental and physical disabilities and lived and worked in Mexico for a year. I went back to work at my old job for a month before heading to Europe to marry off my daughter and then traveled around the continent for another 6 weeks.

When I turned 60 last year, I finally sat down and wrote a list of my dreams and goals that I wanted to accomplish before I died. I'm constantly adding to that list now.

The older I get, the more evident it is of course that there is less time to accomplish all I want to do in life. I finally had to set some priorities, whether it was losing weight, or traveling, or going back to school, or buying property.

I have a process I follow now for all my major decision-making and it seems to work well.

There is no-one out there who is going to wave a magic wand and make your dreams come true. You are the only one who can do that. Take the time to write down all your dreams. Remember, the older you get, the less time you have to realize them. Why not start enjoying them now?

Chapter 7
Sometimes we have so many dreams it’s hard to know here to begin to realize them. Over the last few years I’ve used the following techniques. I learned it years ago when I was working with youth at risk.

The first step is to identify what is important to you.

1. Write your dreams down.
It’s very important to write your dreams down on a list. Then you have the opportunity to look at it and read it on a regular basis. Post it on your calendar or mirror. Make sure it is something you see first thing every morning.

2. Determine which item on your list is most important for you to do first.
After making your list, determine the priorities. Write #1 next to the most important and #2 for the next most important, etc. Once you prioritize, your dreams actually start becoming goals.

3. Ignore other people’s advice.
Remember, this is your wish list, not someone else’s! Try not to share the information because you may get feedback you don’t want to hear!

4. Cut your dream list to no more than 10.
This is one of the hardest steps to take. You have your dreams, but what if your list is 3 pages long? Gradually go through them and draw a line through the ones that are least important AT THIS TIME or ones that aren’t realistic. Also remove any that involve others directly. An example of this is “I plan to marry Henry by 2011” unless your real goal is to ask Henry to marry you!

5. Short-list to 5 dreams.
I know it may sound ridiculous but this is a heart-wrenching move! Suddenly you are crossing off 5 of your dreams! It is difficult at first but as you go through the process, you realize what is most important to you to accomplish now.

6. Re-prioritize your list.
You may find by now that you have taken a number of important dreams off your list that you thought were right up at the top. Re-number them again.

7. Determine your top dream.
This takes some real soul searching. I use the question, “If I knew I was going to die in 6 months, what would I do first?”

8. Start researching all the steps necessary to reach your dream by turning it into a goal.
If your top dream, for instance, is to visit Bali before you die, then you will want to find out all about the country, how you will get there, how much your budget needs to be, etc.

It all starts with realizing what your dreams are and then believing they will happen. For instance, say you have set your top dream as “I am going to lose 15 pounds in the next 6 months.” You have reached Step 4 in this process listed above and haven’t thought about doing anything related to Steps 1, 2, or 3. Losing weight might not be an important goal for you, even though you thought it was to begin with. Maybe traveling somewhere for a holiday is more important right now and you need to concentrate on that first. This is about becoming Healthier, Happier, and Sexier but not necessarily in that order.
Chapter 8
"Whether you think you can or think you can't - either way you are right!"
Henry Ford (1863 - 1947)

I’ve introduced in previous articles the idea of changing your way of thinking, like eating a different way, looking at dreams, and setting goals. I’ve suggested putting some exercise into the mix. The next thing I’d like to talk about is looking at life from a positive perspective rather than a negative one.

I’m so amazed by the number of people my age who are stuck in a negative way of thinking. I know that I can’t change where they are at but I can point out what I am hearing them say.

"I want to lose weight but I don't have time to go to the gym."

"I want to go to Mexico but I'm broke."

"I want to date that new woman in the office but I don't think she would be interested in me."

"I want to buy a new car but it costs too much money."

Okay, you have come up with all the excuses for why good things won't happen in your life. How about considering an opposite way of thinking? If you want something positive to happen, it will happen, but you have to make it happen!

Remember when you were a kid and were accused of daydreaming? Dreaming became something negative instead of something positive. That message is still with you if you aren’t realizing your dreams as an adult. Wouldn’t you rather follow your own dreams than be caught up in the guilt associated with dreaming?

I know that I am getting older and more set in my way of thinking as I enter my 61st year. I refuse to “suffer the fools.” I even quit talking to a close relative for awhile (or she quit talking to me!) because of the negativity I endured whenever I had a conversation with her. Isn’t it interesting that when we finally reach the age of maturity, that looking at things positively becomes important, for some of us anyway? We tend to gravitate toward like-minded souls. If we think negatively, we will surround ourselves with other negative people.

Life is really too short to spend time being negative. How can we become grateful for what we have, rather than miserable for what we don’t have? How can we become grateful for the people around us rather than complaining constantly about what they don’t do for us?
Gratitudes
Have you ever sat down and compiled a list of what you are grateful for? I know what many people have said to me when I've asked them this question.

"My life hasn't been going well. I lost my job, I have overdue bills, etc. How can I possibly be grateful?"

I'm not saying it is going to be easy to be grateful, especially at a time like now when everything is not going the way you want it to go. I am saying you need to do some personal stuff to identify what is special in your life before you can dream again.

You are the only one who can determine your dreams and then turn your dreams into goals.

I was out to dinner with a friend the other night who is a cancer survivor. She is in her mid 60s. She has always wanted to learn to ride a horse and in a few months she and her husband are going to spend a week at a dude ranch. She would have gone even if he hadn’t!

Your life is what you choose to make of it. Sometimes it requires taking new directions if you find you are in a place you no longer want to be.

Life doesn’t end at 60. No matter how stressful or wonderful or boring life has been until now, you can make changes. The new 60 is the old 40! Get your mind around that and do everything you have ever wanted to do!

The author hopes you will share some of the positive experiences you have had since turning 60 in the “comments” at the end of this article.

Single Baby Boomer
Prostate And Breast Cancer Survivors

Turning 60 often brings on many health issues that weren’t present earlier. Heart attack, stroke, middle age diabetes, and certain types of cancer are the most common. Not only do these diseases affect a person’s physical health, but also can take a huge toll on their mental health, and sometimes more so if the person is single.

Although the survival rate for many types of cancer has greatly improved, it still takes time to heal physically and mentally. Two cancers that can really affect a person’s feelings about themselves sexually are breast cancer and prostate cancer. A person, who is in a long term, happy relationship will often have the support they need to overcome the loss they are dealing with. A single person, or someone who ends up single because of the stress around the cancer, may have a much harder time to feel good about themselves sexually. Some people may even think that their sex life has ended.

It all becomes a matter of attitude. A cancer survivor is not a victim, but if they think they are, they will be. The fear of cancer is still very present in a lot of people. Even the word cancer is scary to some. Singles who survive breast or prostate cancer often won’t mention it because they worry others will reject them.

Some people may run from a cancer survivor but realize that isn’t the type of person a survivor wants to be around anyway. A positive attitude will help the survivor accept that he or she is still a whole person. It doesn’t mean it will be any easier to go through the steps of grieving and loss. It just means that there is still life after cancer. It’s important for survivors to talk about what they have gone through.

A single person might have more trouble sharing that info with the people around him or her. They may not have a strong enough bond with friends that they feel they can share what they are dealing with. There are many support groups out there for breast and prostate cancer survivors and it is a good place to start.

When a single cancer survivor becomes interested in a member of the opposite sex, there is sometimes the feeling that they have to tell what has happened to them up front. They don’t want to be rejected later on in the bedroom.

It’s a difficult place to be. If they are just looking for sex to see if they “still work,” even with aids, then maybe it’s the way to go. If they are looking for a long-term relationship, then it’s important to eventually bring information about the cancer into the conversation before the relationship involves sex.

The biggest hurdle for a single cancer survivor is to be accepted for whom he is now and that has to begin within himself. If a person cannot share and accept and eventually talk about what has happened, he or she will be unable to move on. Instead of eventually getting into a healthy, sexual relationship again, the cancer survivor may opt for Internet contact rather than a real live person. It’s a choice but not necessarily the healthiest one.

This article is to make people more aware that there can be a healthy sex life after breast or prostate cancer. If survivors are willing to look at that, their life and their partner’s life will be much fuller as a result. For more information on

Breast cancer go to:
www.breastcancer.org

Prostate cancer go to:
http://familydoctor.org/online/famdocen/home/common/cancer/treatment/264.html

Great Tips For Single Baby Boomers

On How To Develop Sexy Attitudes

If my adult daughter was reading this article, I’m sure I’d be watching her roll her eyes and hearing her exclaim “OMG!” I’m not writing this for her though. I’m writing this to help the single person who wants to keep a sexy attitude after 60.

For some reason a lot of people seem to think that when we are 60 or older that having a love life is just a pipe dream. Get over that idea! If you were active sexually as a young person, there’s a good chance you still want to enjoy an active sex life now. And why shouldn’t you?

One of the things I have discovered though is there is a difference in the way we think as single depending on whether we spent years in a committed relationship or have been a “career” single.

I’m going to address some of the issues around being newly single later in life and how to move into a different way of thinking. In another article I will discuss being a career single and the differences between the two.

If you have been in a long-term, monogamous relationship that ended in divorce or death and you are suddenly single, what do you do to get back in the game? How do you meet a man, and when you do, what the heck do you do with him? It’s a difficult question to answer. I could make up a story about some other fictitious person but I’ve decided to share my own life experiences instead.

My second marriage ended when I was 55. None of my married friends had single friends to match me up with so I found before long I was out of the circle. My single women friends decided it would be a good idea to take me out to a bar that had dancing after I spent a few months moping around. The first guy I met was looking for fun and after a few dates with him, we had lots of fun together. Everything I had still worked. Yeah!

I was feeling confused though. I realized a lot of my values were still very old-fashioned. Deep down my inner being was saying if I slept with a guy, I better be prepared to marry him or at least live with him. I was saying to myself that I wanted commitment! That was all I had really known. Not that I consciously searched for that, but that was my comfort zone. I married young and my husband and I were together for 25 years. I got divorced and I was so used to being married that I got married again. Sound familiar?

That was certainly not the way the guy I was dating was thinking. He ran quickly in the opposite direction before long. Commitment wasn’t on his list.

What did I really want in my life? I had determined sex was still a good thing, even at 55, and some of my women friends were ready to live vicariously through me. Dropping the term “loose” from my vocabulary was a little more difficult. I had that married mentality and it was difficult to let it go. It was one thing to go out and test the water and make sure it wasn’t going to burn me. It was another thing to consider the idea of “sleeping around” to have fun.

I was getting different advice from different friends. Some were saying “Go out and have a great time. Just make sure you stay safe.” Others were saying “Don’t even think about going to bed with someone until you’ve been out a number of times with the same guy and you know he’s interested in a relationship and not just sex.”

Since my previous experiences between divorcing husband #1 and marrying husband #2 were pretty lame and short-lived I really had nothing to compare to. I was only too happy to follow both pieces of advice at the beginning. After all, I was single, and my female friends had been single longer than I had, so they must know better than me! So I thought, but that isn't necessarily the way it works.

Getting back into the dating scene was fun, but at times, it felt brutal. I had already scratched the bar scene off my list of ways to meet men. Plan #2 was Internet dating. I developed my profile, posted a picture, and waited. The first guy to contact me was actually very nice. We had some things in common, one of which was sailing. After a lovely dinner and good conversation, I realized I wasn’t ready to sell everything, buy half a sailboat, and sail around the world with him.

The next date was just for coffee. The unsmiling man told me he was impressed that I was right on time. Then he said women had told him they could tell in 10 minutes whether there would be a second meeting. He was right. I already knew in 2 minutes that I wouldn’t see that dude again.

I persevered for a number of months with the Internet thing because I knew this was a learning curve for me. I really didn’t know a great deal about men, (I still don’t!), and I figured it was a good way to start learning more. At first, I didn’t restrict the age of men I would date on my profile. I wasn’t surprised about the number of guys in their 70s and even 80s that contacted me but a lot of them were only looking for a housekeeper or cook or nurse, or all of the above!

Then there were all the young ones looking for cougars. I really didn’t want to go that way either. I just wanted to meet guys my own age with some common interests beyond sex....... not just sex.

I stayed safe. I always took my own vehicle to meet the guy. I never gave my last name or any personal information until I had been out with someone 3 or 4 times. I always got a phone # from them though and if they wouldn’t give it, I knew there was a good chance they were married.

After dating a few more guys, I realized I was sick of the process and deleted my profile. I started going out for coffee by myself and meeting up with friends. Gradually I began meeting acquaintances of friends who were also single. Before long I was dating again and I took one relationship to the next level. There was still part of me though that said the relationship should go a lot farther and maybe there should be some commitment. The same thing happened again. He turned tail and ran.

I had some decision-making to do. Was I going to hang around and wait for the perfect male specimen to show up that I could move in with and live happy ever after? Or was I just going to get out there and enjoy life and whatever happened, happened? I decided to go with the latter.

One of the things I really enjoyed doing was dancing. I never thought of it as being a “singles” pastime. Even though friends talked about going to singles dances, often the people were already coupled up. It was fun to go out dancing at some of the nightclubs but again there were overtones of the bar scene, which I wanted to avoid.

I finally considered taking dance lessons. I checked around to see who offered them to single people and eventually found a dance studio. It was fun and a great way to meet new people but there was no one I wanted to see outside of the studio.

Shortly afterward I took an opportunity to go live and work in Mexico for a year. I had just turned 58. As soon as Mexican children can walk most of them learn to dance salsa. Music and dancing are a large part of the culture. It wasn’t long before I was taking salsa lessons and then I signed up for tango.

It is very difficult for Canadians and Americans to learn to dance salsa and tango the way Latinos dance it. We are too conservative and restrictive in our movements. The dances are not about dancing though. They are about making love and relationship. The movements are very sensual. It is about learning how to attract a guy and then pushing him away and then allowing him back. Latinos understand that. We do not.

After a number of months though, I began to appreciate and move with the dance and I also began to understand more about relationship and myself. I let go of many of my self-imposed restrictions.

I relaxed my way of thinking, and found I was open to dating a Latin man. I was almost 59. He was 46. Latin men are raised to know how to appreciate and respect women. They are also very caring and considerate, which every woman deserves. What more can I say except I enjoyed every minute!

I brought the new appreciation back with me when I returned home. It was obvious I had changed my way of thinking and acting. It was definitely reverse culture shock to return to the conservatism of my own country though. The first thing I did was make a list of what I was really looking for in a man before I forgot what I experienced in Mexico.

I began Internet dating again and I found I was attracting different types of men than I had before. Only a couple got beyond the coffee and lunch date because I finally knew what I wanted. I wasn’t prepared to settle for anything or anyone less.

I have the attitude now that life is really beginning all over again as we age. It is us who make the choices whether to be a Sophia Loren or a Ma Kettle.

After a couple of years I am in a new relationship with a very nice man. I have no expectations that this will be forever but at almost 61 years old I figure I’m going to enjoy minute of it! It's all about attitude!

5 Secrets For Baby Boomers

For Successful Dating After 60

Is it a scary proposition getting back into dating when you have been away from it for at least 30 years? I’ve had a number of discussions with men on the difficulties they face getting back into the dating scene.

Whether you have recently divorced or lost your spouse to sickness, you have decided you don’t want to spend the next number of years alone. You haven’t gone out on a date for 30 years. Where do you begin?

Secret 1
Start taking women out for coffee. Tell your friends to tell their wives that you are single and you want to meet a new woman to do things with. As the names and phone numbers come in, ask every contact out for coffee. It is well worth the $2 investment just to get comfortable again with talking to members of the opposite sex. Note – Don’t offer to pick her up and don’t give her your phone # until you know for sure whether you want to take her out another time.
Secret 2
Spend time in places where you enjoy going. If you are a golfer, go out to the driving range and hit a few balls. Don’t be afraid to talk to women. They are there to do the same thing as you – golf. You already have something in common! Take a chance and let her know you noticed what a great swing she has. Ask her how often she comes out to the driving range and remark that you hope to see her next time.

Secret 3
Sign up for a class that you are interested in. Are you ready to learn Spanish? How about learning how to sail or kayak? There are so many interesting classes available out there and it’s great way to meet new people. Even if none of the women in you class are single they might know someone who would be right for you.

Secret 4
Go hiking or mountain biking with a local group. Fitness amongst the mature population is becoming more common. People are staying active much longer. Because it’s a group activity, there is no pressure when you start talking to people you haven’t met before.
Secret 5
Go to any single’s events that are advertised. I know a lot of guys back off from singles functions but let’s face it. You are all single and you might possibly meet a very special lady while you are dancing. You can always ask her out for coffee if you want to find out more about her.

It’s not necessarily easy to get back into the dating scene but once you’ve taken that first step, it won’t be as difficult. Go out and enjoy. And remember the women are just as nervous about dating as you are!

7 Tips on How Baby Boomers Can Write

A Great Internet Dating Profile

I started doing Internet dating in 2006 at the age of 57. I found learning to write an effective profile was the most difficult part of the whole dating process. Of course, I also had to kiss a few proverbial frogs before I began finding the princes in my on-line journey.

My first coffee date was with a very negative, sour-faced man. What a disaster! His first comment was “Oh. I see you are exactly on time. I don’t like late people.”

Shortly after sitting down with him, (I bought my own coffee, by the way) he remarked, “Most women have told me they can tell in 10 minutes whether this is going to go any further.”

Gulp! I already knew it wouldn’t go any further. I was ready to run, but since this was totally new and a learning experience for me, I managed to stick it out for ½ an hour. Then I ran!

My second date was with a more pleasant fellow, but didn’t go much better. It turned out he was a bit of a drifter. I ended up buying my own lunch and offered to buy his but he turned me down, thank goodness!

Things have improved immensely since those first couple of experiences and I have met some very nice people on-line. My profile is much different than it used to be too and I am no longer just interested in dating. I hope I will eventually meet a new long-term partner. I know a number of couples who have been successful in their search for romance and are now together.

So, where do you start when you want to write a profile?

#1 – Know yourself.
Many people don’t take the time to figure out who they are and what they like. What are your interests and hobbies? What are your values? If a guy starts swearing in public is it going to embarrass you or will you just laugh about it? The woman you are checking out has kids and you don’t. Does that matter? He is looking for a wife and you are looking for a date to the movies. Will it work?

#2 - Know the type of person you are looking for.
Know the type of person you want first before you post your own profile. You can do this by checking out some of the free sites. Set up a very short profile to allow you to go on-line, and which you can delete after you have most of the information you want. That way you can read profiles and find out what has been written that really impresses you or excites you, and what turns you off.

#3 – Write your personal “turn-off” list.
What turns you off about a potential date or mate? What are your non-negotiables? Can you stand smokers or heavy drinkers? You can’t change a person’s habits…… so know what you don’t want before you start the profile process.

#4 – If you are a woman, upload an up-to-date picture.
Probably the biggest complaint I hear from guys is “She was 10 years older or 50 lbs. heavier than her picture.” Get real. If he is attracted to your picture and then you aren’t that picture, he’s lost any possible chance for trust in the relationship. Women like to look at the guys’ pictures too but women aren’t usually as visual as guys so they will read beyond the picture.

#5 – Make the first few words in your profile count.
Let potential dates or mates know what you like doing and what is important to you. If you are a very active person, you want people to know that so you find someone with like interests looking at your profile. If you prefer a quiet, sedentary life, talk about that.

#6 – Stay safe.
There are a lot of nice people on Internet dating sites but there are weird ones too. Send emails back and forth for the initial talking. You should have a pretty good idea of what they are like and whether you want to meet them in person. Don’t give out any personal information other than your first name and possibly a cell phone # until you have seen each other a few times. Take your own vehicles to meet each other, for the first 3 or 4 outings anyway, until you have some history of each other.

#7 – Your profile is a work in progress.
Once you are ready to put your profile out there for everyone to see, don’t be afraid to make changes to it or change the picture occasionally. It will often bring you to the top of the list again. Also, as you get used to internet dating, you will find you may think differently about who you are on line.

Internet dating is just another way of meeting new people, no matter what age you are. The nicest thing about it is there are so many people to choose from when you are on-line, so get out there and have fun!

5 Tips For Baby Boomers When Dating After 60

Getting back into the dating scene later in life can be daunting for many. Where do you start? How do you meet people? What do you do? How do you balance your time together and apart? Remember, you don’t have another 60 years left to look for the perfect partner!

1.First of all, determine what you want. Are you looking for someone just to do things with in the community? Or do you want a person to share your bed with on a regular basis? Maybe you want the whole meal deal; fall in love, get married, and live happily ever after! Get whatever you want straight in your mind because you can cross a lot of people off your list quickly if they aren’t looking for the same thing. That doesn’t mean you can’t change your mind later, but know what you are looking for to begin with.

2. Look in the mirror and don’t scare yourself off. You aren’t 20 anymore, so neither is your body, but it’s the only one you have. Get used to it and look after it. The potential partners aren’t going to be 20 either, unless that is all you are looking for at this point. If it is, you may as well quit reading this because it won’t answer any questions you have. Someone your age is not necessarily going to have a perfect body either but they will be more understanding of the aches and pains you deal with.

3. Find out what language you talk. As long as you are from the same generation, there’s a good chance you will talk the same language. That’s a start and works if you are only looking for an occasional date. That doesn’t mean you will have anything in common though, for long term stuff. A person who spends all their spare time reading may be poorly matched with someone who wants to constantly be on the go traveling. Take time to really find out if you have anything in common.

4. How much alone time each day or week is necessary for you? If you’ve been on your own for a long time, you may not be willing to give up a great deal of your free time. It doesn’t mean you aren’t flexible to going places or trying new things. You only have so much time left to accomplish your bucket list so sometimes you have to be selfish. Then there is work versus retirement. A person still working fulltime trying to date someone who is retired can be frustrating. Holiday time is often the most problematic issue because that may be the only time for family get-togethers, etc.

5. Be very honest about your sexual compatibility. If sex is still a very important part of a relationship for you, put the subject on the table early in the relationship. This may sound crude to some but it is just as important as if you are looking for a traveling companion. You’d have no problem discussing that topic. Why should there be a problem discussing sex? And don’t forget to talk about whether you need something 5-star or can you happily settle for the hostel experience. There’s a big difference between the two and it’s really necessary, even after 60 years old, to be on the same page.

Dating after 60 can be a lot of fun if you take time to determine what you are looking for. There are a lot of singles looking for a compatible partner.

6 Heart Attack Warning Signs For Baby Boomers

Nobody wants to admit he or she might be a candidate for a heart attack. After all, that means one is getting older and maybe hasn’t taken care of himself as much as he could have or should have. What if a person has done everything right health-wise his whole life?

It doesn’t matter how healthy a person is or how much exercise they do if they are genetically predisposed to heart problems. One of the most common causes of heart attacks in Baby Boomers is the build up of plaque in the arteries. This becomes a silent killer, especially if people over 60 ignore the warning signs.

What are some of the most common warning signs?

1.Sudden fatigue
It’s natural to feel tired after a full day’s work but if a person is feeling extremely tired early in the day for no reason, get it checked out.

2. Pain in the upper arms and up into the neck
If there is pain that is occurring in these areas that isn’t a result of exertion, it could be a warning sign of an attack.

3. Pain around the chin and especially in the jaw
In some cases the jaw will get extremely painful, almost as though there is a sudden abscess in a tooth without any reason.

4. A change in anxiety level
Even though a person may be normally calm, the onset of anxiety or stress that isn’t a result of a specific reason should be held suspect. Also, sudden weakness, cold clammy skin, and sweating needs to be checked out.

5. Heaviness without actual pain
If a person feels heaviness in the chest or back area like a weighing down, it might be a sign. Have it checked out.

6.Palpitations
People will sometimes experience palpitations. This is when the heart starts pounding and the pulse begins racing for no reason, even in a resting state. It may be nothing, but if it is combined with other signs, don’t ignore it. Try to get someone to take your pulse and give the information to your doctor.

Many people will choose to ignore the warning signs. They figure since there is no severe pain, that there is no chance that a heart attack is occurring. That is one of the biggest fallacies. It is better to get things checked out than take a chance of possible damage.

For more information there are a number of sites to research. These include www.heartandstroke.ca and www.americanheart.org